In Ephesians 4:15 the Bible talks of "speaking the truth in love,"  and that is my recommendation in this situation.  Yes, you should tell, but be sure not to tattle.  Relay the information to those who do not know without any resentment, anger, accusation or attitude. Inquire of those who have been holding the "counter reunion" why they feel a need to have their reunion at the same time as the others.  Try to set up a meeting, preferably in person, and get the real issues on the table.  It may work and it may not, but it's worth a try.


Doug Harris is author of The Marvel Chronicles, a memoir of his mother's life, and Raised by Giants: Growing Up Colored, Negro, Black in Burlington, NJ Back in the Day.

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 Doug Harris




We have a big family, and a core group of family members who get together to plan our reunions, most of whom live outside the hometown. Strange as it may sound, there’s a group of hometown family members who are sabotaging the reunions by waiting until the reunion date is announced and then planning some local activity and inviting the hometown family members to take part.  I don’t know why they do it, but it’s been going on for some years now, and I know it’s affecting attendance at the reunions. I get invited to the local events but choose to attend the reunion instead. The core planning group works hard to include the entire family in the planning of the reunions. I don’t think they know what the others are doing. Which leads to my following questions. Should I tell them? And, how do we get everyone on the same page?

...celebrating 31 years!