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STICKY REUNION SITUATION

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 with SUZANNE VARGUS HOLLOMAN

NOVEMBER 2020

THE FIX

At our Family Reunion zoom meeting last month, my cousin's ex-wife signed up for the reunion on behalf of herself and her daughter. Without fanfare the meeting host deleted her. Although the divorce between my cousin and his wife was contentious, some family members remained friendly with the ex-wife and would have enjoyed seeing her and the daughter.
 
I think there was concern that having the ex and the present wife in the meeting would be a problem. However, the new wife didn't participate. Do you think deleting the ex-wife unceremoniously was the best way to handle the situation? Should she have been contacted personally? Should we speak with the host or is it best to let sleeping dogs lie?

NO EXES

ALLOWED

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REUNION INSTITUTE

STICKY REUNION SITUATION ARCHIVES

This sticky situation should have been addressed by more than just the host. I suggest that the family reunion officers inform the host that they be consulted prior to taking such action, if there are any sensitive situations in the future.
 
Yes, the ex-wife should have been contacted personally prior to the meeting. However, it’s not too late for the host or an officer to contact her with an apology for not informing her in advance of the meeting.
 
Above all, I hope the daughter was still able to attend, and that she didn’t get caught in the middle of this situation. It is important for her to see her family doing the right thing, and that her mother is contacted with an apology.  She should see that family of any type, even In-laws after divorce, are treated with respect.