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Our 2020 reunion was canceled due to the coronavirus and continued safety concerns. My cousin who was chairing the reunion says they won’t reschedule hosting the reunion, and that they will pass the reunion on to the next city for 2021. We live in the next city and don’t think that’s fair. How can we resolve this without a family fight?



Your 2021 committee may feel that the 2020 committee is abdicating responsibility, but your cousin’s committee probably spent the last year or more working on a reunion, and even though it was wiped out by the coronavirus, they still did the work. So, it makes sense to move on to the next city.

At the risk of being obvious, I suggest that the simple resolution of the problem would be for both committees to work together on the next one. But again, the 2021 committee should take the lead, not only because the 2020 folks already did a lot of work, but also because the people who live in the host city are in a much better position to arrange for hotels and activities, since they know their hometown better.

You don’t want someone unfamiliar with the city to pick a hotel in a bad area. And you, as the host city committee, know best what exciting places there are to visit and activities there are to schedule. But there’s nothing wrong with asking the 2020 planning committee members to take part in your meetings, whether they be conducted by phone or by Zoom. They can make suggestions and may even volunteer to help with some of the grunt work. You might suggest a few different hotels and venues for possible activities, and then members of the 2020 team can help make calls and get rates and take part in the final decision. (In this day and age, when most everyone has a cell phone, they should be able to make those calls without incurring any long-distance charges.)

Look at it as a win-win situation for both groups: if the coronavirus hadn’t happened, your 2021 team would be planning a reunion anyway, but now they’ll have extra help doing so. And the 2020 folks will know that when they travel to your city, they can feel sure that this year’s reunion will be better than ever.  In fact, it should be twice as good.

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